Sage Reminders about Moving Forward

I attended a retreat when I was younger where the speaker talked about going on a journey in a car as a metaphor for life. As the driver of your life, you may have a map or route in mind and see the road ahead. Every once in a while, you look at your rearview mirror. While moving forward in life with your plans, it’s worthwhile to reflect periodically and look back at your life, your rearview mirror. However, no one drives a car long-distances by focusing ONLY on the rearview mirror. In the same way, to move forward with life, you cannot be stuck in the past.

As I’ve shared, I’ve been interviewing for new grad nurse positions. Some interviews have gone well, and some have not. I need to look back at my interviews to understand where I can improve and what I did well to move forward in future applications or interviews. However, it doesn’t serve me to beat myself up and ruminate over any mistakes I might have made. I can be overly critical of myself, but that’s crippling and doesn’t help me. It’s important instead to learn from my mistakes and consider what I can do differently the next time I encounter the same scenario. I suppose I needed reminders to not dwell on my shortcomings and be solutions-oriented instead – I have an important interview next week. Throughout this past week, I have noticed messages reminding me about how my focus determines my path.

My first reminder came in a reflection from a 2021 Lenten devotional I’ve been reading, “Embrace This Holy Season” by Joseph F. Sica. In the February 22 entry entitled “Getting Past the Past,” Joseph F. Sica shared:

“When you find yourself being drawn back into the pain and negative experiences, choose to focus on the present—on what is happening right now—and recognize that history is history. To get past your past, you need to accept it as it was and leave it there. Then pay deliberate attention to this moment—a time that’s never been before and is loaded with opportunities and possibilities. All you have to do is seize them.”

He then offers the helpful practice of taping the following quote to a mirror: “Never look back unless you’re planning to go that way.” It reminded me of the retreat speaker sharing the story about driving using one’s rearview mirror. While I wouldn’t suggest NEVER looking back, don’t be fixated on life’s rearview mirror.

My second reminder came in an email from Marie Forleo, an entrepreneur. She was talking about her relationship with her husband and shared the following:

“Human minds are wired to scan for what’s wrong, especially when it comes to our significant other. We criticize, correct, and attempt to control them. We’re quick to judge and point out (either in our head or out loud) what’s not working. My suggestion? Stop that ASAP. Where attention goes, energy flows. Make a commitment to keep looking for what’s right about your partner. Focus on what they did do, who they are as a soul, and what’s wonderful about them — then proactively and verbally acknowledge that to them consistently.”

While Marie Forleo was talking about relationships, her statement about energy going where our attention flows applies to life, in general. We can focus on mistakes we’ve made in the past, our shortcomings, or we can focus on our strengths and continual improvement. As someone starting over in my career, I need to acknowledge when I do things right because it is easy for me to self-criticize when I do something wrong or not exactly how I would have liked. I’m still learning and developing as a novice nurse, and I need to give myself some grace.

Finally, my third reminder came from Brene Brown, a researcher who focuses on shame and vulnerability. She has a podcast and had a guest, Dr. Edith Eger, discuss “Recognizing the Choices and Gifts in Our Lives.” Below is a quote from Dr. Eger that caught my eye while I was on LinkedIn:

I love the concept of finding an arrow and following it. We can’t move forward without an idea of our destination. Otherwise, we’re just wandering. If I make mistakes, after attempting to correct them, I need to know how to prevent them from happening again or improve myself. I’ve lived long enough to come to an understanding that God will present me with the same lesson over and over until I learn from it. Without a path to move forward, we may end up in circles.

Maybe you, too, needed gentle reminders to focus on moving forward. Perhaps you need to acknowledge your gifts and talents instead of dwelling on your shortcomings. Learn from your mistakes and move onward. Envision what you want, be assured of yourself, and head in that direction!

COVID Mass Vaccination Clinic and Lenten Encouragment

This past week was a little whirlwind filled with holidays, starting with Valentine’s Day, followed by President’s Day, Mardi Gras/Fat Tuesday, then Ash Wednesday. I worked the early part of this week at a mass vaccination site in LA County. It was the first time I had the opportunity to administer the COVID vaccine in my job. I was glad to be of service to so many in the community and happy to network with so many nurses.

It was tiring to be out in the sun, on my feet all day, in a stadium parking lot to either observe patients or give vaccines. Despite my achy feet and slight sunburn, I was grateful to contribute to the vaccine clinic. Patients were appreciative to get the vaccine. Amidst the 4,000 people we were vaccinating each day, I saw an old co-worker and friend I hadn’t seen in 3 years since I left my previous career to become a nurse. I took it as assurance that I am where I’m supposed to be, even if I’m still searching for a new grad hospital position. I also met experienced nurses who gave me suggestions and offered help in getting me a hospital job. I took that as a blessing and another sign that I’m where I’m supposed to be. The other nurses and I worked as a team and got to know one another. While supporting the community and each other, we enjoyed the perks of beautiful weather, stadium views over our lunch breaks, and food provided by the event organizers.

Fat Tuesday lunchtime views with my complimentary cheeseburger.

After a long day of work on Wednesday, I attended Ash Wednesday mass virtually at home. Ash Wednesday marks the beginning of the Lenten season. In his homily, my pastor exclaimed, “Don’t let a good pandemic go to waste!” It’s a strange thing to say, perhaps, but it offers guidance. Now, more than ever, we can slow down and not lead such hectic lives. I don’t have the excuses I once had about my pre-pandemic schedule being busy. My family and I can’t go to parties, attractions, museums, restaurants, bars, or friend’s homes like we used to. Instead of running around with our schedules filled, we can choose to spend time in meditation, prayer, or reflection. We can (re-)connect with others and build relationships using the technology available to us. (I’ve recently discovered the app, Marco Polo, and highly recommend it for connecting with others via private video messages)! I want to use this pandemic and Lent to re-focus on my spiritual well-being.

One of the things I’ve decided to do for Lent is to meditate or reflect on scripture each day. Luckily, my church is offering a daily devotional for parishioners to use during Lent, “Embrace This Holy Season” by Joseph Sica. I have enjoyed it so far.

On one of the days I had off from the vaccine clinic, I had my car serviced. I decided to pack my Med-Surge review book with me along with my devotional and bible. (I’m reviewing the Med-Surge book to prepare for an upcoming interview). The bible and “Embrace This Holy Season” were for me to complete my daily Lenten commitment. While the dealership serviced my car, I went for a walk, grabbed a coffee, and found an empty bench for me to study and meditate. I hadn’t taken time for myself like that in a very long time; it was glorious!

When I was a younger adult, I disliked the solemnity of the Lenten season. I appreciated the focus of prayer, fasting, and almsgiving, but it seemed like such a dark time. Now that I’m older, I appreciate the preparation Lent is for Easter. Lent is like a “time-out” for me to focus on my spiritual practices.

The Lenten reflection from Joseph Sica’s book for the day was about being ourselves and loving ourselves. I found it inspiring and a great reminder. I share parts of the reflection here with you, in case you need to read/hear it, too:

Some of you may not be Christian or observe Lent. Regardless, I encourage you to take time for yourself every once in a while for reflection or meditation. Create time for peace and quiet, if you can. Some of you have gratitude journals or practice hygge. This Lent, I commit to daily meditation and reflection. Even if you don’t observe Lent, maybe consider what you can do to make the most out of this pandemic. “Don’t let a good pandemic go to waste!” Can you use this time apart from others to gain clarity? Can you practice self-acceptance and appreciation? I love to hear how others practice self-care or self-love during this pandemic! Good luck on your journey!

Struggling With Boundaries and “No”

I know it’s been a while since I’ve posted. I feel like I’ve been struggling lately and don’t know what words of inspiration to provide. I find myself working when I didn’t plan to work to please my boss. I recognize that consistently not holding the boundaries I set for myself is unhealthy and causes suffering and resentment. Establishing and maintaining boundaries is a skill I have yet to master. I don’t know if I’d even call myself competent.

Sometimes I find myself working extra shifts, not because I want or need to, but because I want to keep my boss happy. I want her to give me a good recommendation when I put her down as a job reference. (I work as a COVID tester but am looking for an acute care RN role). However, when I work extra days to please my boss, it costs me a chance to recharge myself, spend time with family, job search, or blog. For example, even though I said I was unavailable to work the day after my second-dose COVID vaccination, I found myself working when I didn’t plan on it because my boss was short-staffed and begged me to work. My arm was sore, and I was tired and achy, but I had no other symptoms, so I obliged her plea for me to work. I had hoped to be taking it easy at home the day after my vaccination to fill out my daughter’s complicated kindergarten applications and other job applications for myself. Instead, I wore myself out by working the day after my second shot. By the time I got home, I felt so fatigued that all I could do was shower and lie in bed all evening. I couldn’t even pick up my daughter from her preschool; my husband did. My boss asked me to work again the following day (a day I usually have off), and I said I could not; I felt like I was fighting the flu! I found myself to the point of exhaustion before I finally said “No,” to my boss.

Being short-staffed seems to be a common theme no matter where a nurse works. (There are so many memes about this!) I am not a bad employee if I tell my boss I am not working extra days. Saying “No” is a skill I know I must strengthen to maintain the boundaries I set to keep myself healthy and balanced. [Un]Fortunately, it looks like I will have plenty of opportunities to practice saying, “No.”

Before I became a nurse, I was the type to cram a lot into my schedule. I still am this way. Usually, I enjoy it, but sometimes it’s stressful, especially when running late from event to event. However, since marrying my husband and having my daughter, I’ve been conscious of my family’s schedule and try not to burden them with too much activity. A nurse- and mom-friend told me her life coach suggested she schedule no more than three things in a day. I’ve been good with this for my family, but I am trying to uphold this goal for myself. I accomplish goals I set for myself more efficiently, and I am more satisfied and less overwhelmed when I create a manageable schedule.

I still have many goals and lots of things I feel I need to do or accomplish each day. Fortunately, I realize 1) I do not need to do everything all at once, and 2) Some things (like working or blogging) may fall off my schedule to focus on completing other things (like job and kindergarten applications). Honestly, I should make one of my goals to stop being such a people-pleaser, and I would be able to say NO guilt-free and struggle less. I am working on this, so thanks for your patience during my mini-break from blogging the past week!

MLK Career Inspiration

Today is Martin Luther King, Jr. day in America, where we celebrate and remember this great activist. Most people are familiar with Martin Luther King Jr.’s (MLK) “I Have a Dream” speech but may not be aware of his other speeches or the origin of some of his inspirational quotes. He was a great preacher and gave many more rallying and inspirational speeches promoting justice, non-violence, and people’s dignity. One of his speeches that inspired me in my career and career change was “What Is Your Life’s Blueprint?” I wasn’t aware of this speech or its contents until I attended a performance at my work years ago where someone had assembled parts of MLK’s speeches and presented/recited it for us during an MLK day celebration. I was lucky to have an active African American employee resource group host the presentation over lunch at our company.

Martin Luther King, Jr. presented “What Is Your Life’s Blueprint?” to a group of students at Barrat Junior High School on October 26, 1967. It is a timeless message that is relevant today and applies to all ages about being the best you can be. Footage from that day and video of his entire speech can be found on YouTube at https://youtu.be/kmsAxX84cjQ, thanks to The Martin Luther King, Jr. Center for Nonviolent Social Change. In honor of the holiday, I encourage you to watch the footage, which is only about 20 minutes. Below, I have gathered some motivational quotes and excerpts from his speech that were not previously familiar to me. I hope you reference them whenever you need inspiration!

Keep striving for excellence as you pursue your future endeavors, whether it be nursing or otherwise! Have a blessed day!

Curating Friendships: Creating your Support System

Your friends are either a reflection of who you are or who you want to be. Ideal friends help carry you when you’re down and hold you accountable to being the best version of yourself. However, what if your friends doubt your abilities to obtain a nursing degree or succeed at something you desperately desire? I’ve had friends who have been either naysayers or cheerleaders in my life. Over time, I have learned to curate my friendships. After having a family and working full-time or going to school, my time is limited. How and with whom I invest my free time matters to me.

When I started taking my nursing pre-requisites, I had a friend share how her partner questioned my pursuit and wondered if I would go into Nursing. She said she defended me to her partner and responded that he doesn’t know me well enough to know how determined I am. While I appreciated her supporting me, I wondered why she even shared the story with me at all. You may have family or friends in your life who are not supportive or do not understand why you are pursuing a career change or nursing. You may need to limit the time you spend with them to focus on your goals. Limiting time with my friend with the doubting partner was not super intentional for me – I had little free time while I was doing pre-requisites and completing nursing school. I ended up not spending much time with many of my friends outside of school anyway.

Now that I’ve graduated from nursing school, I still don’t get to spend as much time as I wish with friends. Aside from the pandemic, circumstances such as friends becoming parents, moving, or job changes have made it challenging to coordinate schedules. However, I’ve learned I’d rather have a handful of close friends on whom I can rely rather than a ton of acquaintances or shallow friends. My relationships with close friends remain strong despite lapses in connecting with another or physical distance separating us. It doesn’t make sense for me to go out of my way to maintain relationships with people who don’t value me or my friendship or whose motives I question. I already have great friends with whom I do not spend enough time!

I was in a toxic relationship years ago, and a friend exclaimed, “There are so many people in this world! Why are you with someone nice to you only some of the time?” It’s been over 20 years, and that remark has stuck with me and helps guide me. Seriously, why invest time and energy in someone who doesn’t treat you well or support your growth and success? When I was younger, and my self-esteem was lower, I allowed people I thought were my friends to treat me terribly. I accepted friends who would insult and lie to me or were not interested in my wellbeing. They served as obstacles instead of contributors to my success. I am grateful to have grown and matured enough to recognize true friendship and to set better boundaries for myself.

Decades ago, when pursuing my engineering degree, I had a planner with various inspirational quotes listed each week. A quote that stood out for me is from Alice Walker about friends: “No person is your friend who demands your silence or denies your right to grow.” Is someone who is not supportive of your career pursuits denying your right to grow? Have they shared any valid concerns? Or are they just tearing you down? Maybe it’s time to set boundaries and rethink your friendships.

I also like Alice Walker’s quote because it challenges me to evaluate my actions as a friend. In this time of passionate opposing views regarding the pandemic or politics, I’ve questioned if I need to remain friends with a person when I find myself wanting to block a friend or hide their posts from my feed. There should be mutual respect in friendships, and sometimes, I do not respect views expressed by some friends. I’ve wondered about some of my friends on social media, particularly when they don’t seem to be a reflection of who I am or aspire to be. If we were real friends, I would consider having a meaningful dialogue with them instead of silencing them. In the end, given my limited time and energy, I need to decide if the effort to maintain a friendship is worth it.

I remind myself of why we became friends. I consider how surrounding myself with only like-minded individuals furthers the divide I see in this country. So I continue to have friends or family in my social media feed whose political views I disagree with but who wholeheartedly supported me during my life’s milestones and career change. I’d rather be a person who builds bridges than walls. However, there are times when unhealthy, abusive, or toxic friendships must end. I think part of being more mature is developing the wisdom to know how and when to set boundaries.

Surrounding yourself with supportive people and good friends is vital, particularly during challenging or tumultuous times in one’s life. Friends do not always agree with everything you do or say, but they ultimately share your values or interests and respect you or care for your wellbeing. If friends disagree with what you are doing or oppose your pursuits – are their concerns valid? Are they voicing concerns because they care about you? Are they opening up your realm of possibilities, giving you a new perspective, or are they trying to keep you in your place?

One of the big reasons I pursued nursing is because a good friend challenged me. When I got laid off as an engineer and expressed interest in staying in engineering, he told me he’d help me but asked if it’s what I wanted to do with the rest of my life. He asked if I could see myself doing anything else. I took to heart what he asked, and I reflected, prayed, and did a lot of inner searching. His challenge and my resulting self-reflection are what prompted me to finally take action on my career change and go into nursing. I had thought about changing careers nearly a decade before but decided not to pursue it for various reasons. With my friend’s reminder and the new-found freedom I had from getting laid off and getting severance pay, I resurrected my dream to change careers. Good friends don’t always go along with what you say, but they help you be your best by providing a different perspective.

Good friends are there for you, not just in happy or triumphant moments but also in difficult moments. Nursing school brought me to tears more than once, and it helped to have good friends and family around me. When I doubted myself or my abilities, these good friends and family members listened to me and lifted me when I was down. Hopefully, you have good friends in your life. If not, seek out good friends. There is an abundance of people in this world – there is no need to choose friends who do not respect or appreciate you. I wish you good friendships and good luck for this new year!

Milestone: My first job as an RN!

Things have been hectic for me this week because I started a new job on Monday! I am a COVID tester for a studio! Hollywood studios have resumed filming and frequently test their cast and crew to ensure people do not have or spread COVID.

Photo by Shelly Still on Pexels.com

I found out Sunday night I got the job and was expected to work at 3:30a the next morning in a city about 45 minutes from my home (without traffic). I scrambled Sunday night searching for scrubs to purchase in-store, laundering them later at home, applying for professional liability insurance, reviewing, signing, submitting paperwork, and reading the policies and procedures manual. I also had to complete and submit an application for a new grad program due that same Sunday. I was up until about midnight and out the door by 2:30a. I was tired but running on adrenalin! I am like a substitute teacher – I don’t know where I’m going or what time I’m working until the afternoon before each workday. It’s been a whirlwind for me since Monday!

My former classmate referred me to my current job. I am lucky that I have such a supportive cohort – we frequently share new grad job opportunities. (TIP: Keep in touch with your classmates, even after you graduate)! He texted our cohort one afternoon. I immediately sent my resume to his contact, and I received a phone call less than a week later! It helped that I updated my resume and was prepared since I had been applying to new grad positions. It’s luck that I got this job, but “Luck is when opportunity and preparation meet.” A year ago, I found this quote, cut it out, and have it posted on my computer monitor as a reminder.

I encourage you to keep striving for your goals. Stay prepared, move forward, and use opportunities as they come along as stepping stones toward your ultimate goals. It’s funny how this opportunity came along just after I posted about rejection and failure last week. I don’t think it’s by accident; maybe I needed to lead by example. When you feel down and as if you’re not moving towards your goals, pick yourself up, and keep striving! Most importantly, when you lift yourself up, take others along with you!

Failure and Rejection as Feedback

I’ve received rejections from several of my job applications this week. Before Nursing, I’ve seriously job searched maybe once in my life. It resulted in me working for the same company for nearly two decades, so getting rejected from multiple job applications feels new to me. The rejections feel like getting a fail on a pass/fail school project. Unlike failing in school or doing poorly at work, I receive little feedback on my rejected job applications. I can’t evaluate areas I got “wrong” and study or practice to improve my job application. The process is honestly discouraging.

I have to remind myself that searching for a new grad nursing job can be a long process. New grad programs are very competitive, and it can take some time to receive a response. I applied to one of the programs in September but did not get a rejection notice until this week (mid-November)! In some ways, merely knowing I did not get the job satisfied my desire for any form of feedback.

I think about people who have jobs where rejection is expected, like entrepreneurs, actors, or politicians. If such people don’t land a client or don’t get a role, they move onward. Like them, I need to push past rejections and keep trying. This week, I heard a quote from Vice President-elect Kamala Harris: “I eat no for breakfast!” She has worked hard in her career to get where she is today, but her efforts have not been without many rejections and criticism. Rejection doesn’t stop her; it makes her more determined. I find the quote inspiring.

It seems like the universe is telling me something because this week, my preschooler’s favorite television show, “Dino Dana,” had a storyline about failure. One of the characters kept failing her practice exams in preparation for a big science exam and became discouraged. To encourage her, the character’s sister shares: “In science, you never fail, you just discover new ways of doing things wrong until you get them right.” Maybe this is true also in life. I am learning how to do things wrong until I get it right. Also, I realize I may not be doing anything “wrong” at all – I may not be a good fit for what jobs are available, given my specific interests in a specialty unit.

I’ve reached out to one of the potential employers to get feedback on improving my job application. I may not get any response, but I figure it cannot hurt. One of my classmates got into Nursing school by making such an effort. When she applied to our program the first time, she was rejected. She courageously asked for feedback on what would make her a stronger candidate. She took that feedback, applied it, and got accepted on her second attempt the following year! Without seeking feedback, she may not have known what to do to make her a more desirable candidate.

If you’re experiencing rejections or fails and feel discouraged, you are not alone. Being successful is not about avoiding failure; it is about how you choose to respond to failure. Rejection or failure doesn’t need to be negatively internalized but can be neutrally viewed as feedback. Consider rejection or failure as an opportunity to collect data for additional learning! You may not be the proper fit for a particular role or organization or you are simply discovering how to do things wrong as you learn how to get things right. Either way, eat “no” for breakfast, and keep going!

Election Day – Vote!

If you haven’t already done so, please exercise your right to vote. There’s more to decide on our ballots than which presidential candidate to choose. In California, we have 12 propositions. It’s interesting to see which ones Nurses Associations endorse. I also found it interesting how many non-healthcare related propositions used nurses in their ads, too. Is it any wonder that nurses are used to sway voters, considering nurses are regarded as the most trusted profession and regarded as heroes in a pandemic?

I’m not going to tell you which candidates or propositions to support; just please make sure you educate yourself on the candidates and issues and VOTE! In between nursing job applications and studying for my NRP certification, I spent my time evaluating the candidates and propositions and even hosted a Prop Party over Zoom with friends to better understand the proposed measures on the ballot. I went through every candidate and issue with my father yesterday. We had some good discussions about how some issues may not impact my parents or myself but may impact my daughter and her future. We traveled to the polling place together and voted as a family.

Voting is essential for our democracy, a way to make changes we wish to see in our city/state/country and yet another way we can advocate for the nursing profession and patients. Please participate in our democracy and vote! If you’ve already voted and you’re stressed or anxious about this election and its possible outcomes, The New York Times is offering something to distract you until the election results are finalized: https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2020/10/30/style/election-stress-relief.html

Lying in Wait

For Christmas last year, I bought tickets for my husband and me to watch the musical “Hamilton” in Los Angeles during my semester break scheduled in May. I figured it would be a nice treat for us before my last nursing school semester. That was until the pandemic hit and canceled the show. While I was disappointed, I agreed with the CDC recommendations and state orders not to have large indoor gatherings. I figured I had already waited years to watch the show; I could wait a little while longer to enjoy it safely at a later time.

Once summer arrived, I was excited to learn that I could watch “Hamilton” from home on Disney+. However, I didn’t allow myself to subscribe to the streaming service until I graduated because I didn’t want to become distracted from studying. As a mini graduation gift to myself, I subscribed to Disney+ to watch “Hamilton” in August.

I know I’m years behind, but I finally watched and loved the musical, “Hamilton”! My preschooler has grown to love it too and will ask to play songs from the musical. She loves and will continuously replay the “The Schuyler Sisters,” “Satisfied,” and “Helpless.” Personally, “Wait for It” appeals to me. While “Wait for It” is the song of the musical’s anti-hero, Aaron Burr, I can identify with the feeling of waiting.

My favorite part of the song, “Wait for It” from “Hamilton”

Waiting to take the NCLEX

Life after nursing school requires a lot of patience. It’s almost anti-climactic to spend all this energy in an accelerated nursing program and graduate only to wait in what feels like forever to get permission from the nursing board to take the NCLEX. While other classmates’ accounts showed they conferred their degree soon after the semester ended, I had to wait for my transcripts to show I graduated weeks afterward. About a month after graduating, some of my classmates sat for their NCLEX; I still hadn’t received my authorization to test (ATT) from the testing company. I grew anxious and started to feel like I was on hold, waiting for my life to begin while everyone else was moving forward. I had to remind myself that my life was already in motion, and I had accomplished many of my life’s goals. I could choose to be content with my life as it was or wait for some external factor (like an ATT) before allowing myself to feel content.

I received my ATT about a month and a half post-graduation. I gave myself a little over a week after receiving my ATT to study and take my NCLEX. Passing the NCLEX took a lot of weight off my shoulders and made me eligible to apply to many more jobs. However, after passing the NCLEX and becoming a registered nurse, I continue to wait for: new graduate positions to open, status updates to job applications, and recommendations or replies to recommendation requests.

Waiting for a job offer

As an unemployed nursing graduate, I miss being in a clinical setting and am eager to return. I often feel like I’m not a real nurse since I’m not working. I want to work but don’t qualify for many RN jobs since I’m a recent graduate who hasn’t worked in an acute setting. I want a new grad position so I can get proper training as a novice nurse. However, I don’t want a new grad position doing any type of nursing in any setting. I am a second-career nurse. I evaluated my skills and desires to change careers, and I know I want to work in a specialty. I want to either start in that specialty or start in a role with a clear path leading me to it. I’m older, and I don’t want to waste time. I’m willing to wait a little while for a good opportunity for myself instead of broadly applying to jobs I don’t want.

While I wait for my first RN job, I am preparing myself for my career. I studied and took certification courses for PALS (pediatric advanced life support) and NRP (neonatal resuscitation program). I reached out to early-career and mid-career nurses to ask them about new grad programs and what it’s like to work in various hospitals. I revised and had people review my resume. I targeted specific people for recommendations for different job applications.

Even though I’m unemployed, I know I’ve done and continue to do what I can to prepare for my nursing career. Knowing how to delay gratification and wait for things allows me to enjoy my free time. I’m satisfied with the work I put in during school and after graduation. I don’t feel guilty when I take breaks from studying for certifications or job hunting; I genuinely enjoy myself. I get to explore Los Angeles and venture into areas I hadn’t seen before or finally watch shows I put off watching. The pandemic has put travel plans and trips to visit family and friends on hold, but I’m willing to wait for it. I can have fun doing other things while I wait to get a job (#funemployment).

Waiting as a skill

Learning how to wait while preparing and working toward your goals is a life skill. Like any skill, it may take some practice before you are good at it. For example, I decided to watch “Black Panther” the day before an Anatomy & Physiology midterm because it was opening weekend, and I figured I could study afterward. I loved the movie, but the pre-test movie resulted in a low midterm grade. It such a drop from my usual scores that my professor asked me what happened. I couldn’t admit to him that I watched a movie instead of studying the day before. I felt terrible that I jeopardized my prerequisite GPA to watch a film I could have easily watched another time. Luckily, I recovered; my prerequisite GPA was good enough to get accepted into competitive nursing programs. I did something similar again in nursing school. Eventually, I learned my lesson, which is why I refused to subscribe to Disney+ until after graduation. When I feel burnt out from studying, it’s too easy for me to feel like I need to escape, de-prioritize school, and take an overly long break. I realized my long-term goal of becoming a nurse was more critical than watching a long-awaited musical (and maybe I needed more frequent breaks and rewards for myself so that I wouldn’t feel burnt out)!

We need the recognition that some things, whether it be goals or skills, take time to cultivate. Learning how to prioritize and determine what needs immediate attention versus what can wait is as much a life skill as it is a nursing skill. It takes years to become a nurse. Sometimes, especially during prerequisites, it felt like I was getting nothing done since I was spending all my time in school and studying but had no degree or job to show for it. I could only hope all my efforts would lead me to my ultimate goal: a working RN. I’m still working towards my goal but appreciate that while waiting to become a nurse, I developed new skills, made new friends, and pushed my limits of what I thought was capable. Waiting has given me time to prepare and develop into the person I need to become a nurse. I’m still waiting to become a working nurse, but I know I haven’t wasted my time.

Waiting as a parent

Similarly, as a parent, life requires a lot of waiting and unknown. My husband and I can only hope that the love and attention we give our daughter leads her to be a smart and decent person with a happy, healthy life. I love what my doctor shared with me about parenting, “We can cultivate and fertilize the soil, but who knows what will take root and grow?” Even if I weren’t pursuing a second career, having a child demands patience and waiting. Have you ever had to deal with a toddler insisting on putting on their shoes or clothes? Or waiting for them to pee on a potty? Trust me – Parents understand waiting! I now have more patience and grace for myself because I continuously practice patience and grace with my child.

Wait for It

The “waiting” we do in life is often the journey to our destination. We can feel stuck in “waiting” or allow for growth and development to occur. In some ways, the waiting is fun – it’s an unfolding of a story, a discovery of who we have yet to become; it implies potential. If you ever think you’re stagnant and waiting for life to happen, know you’re not alone. I feel this way from time to time. Sometimes, we need a little reminder of the power we have over the choices we make. You are the only thing you can control, so set your priorities and do what you can to move towards your goals. Other times, we need a little encouragement. When I’m doing what I can but feel I am not getting the results as quickly as I want and start to doubt myself, I remind myself of the lyrics from “Wait for It”: “I’m not falling behind or running late. I’m not standing still – I’m lying in wait”.

Scrubs Alternatives: Aligning your purchases with your values

A popular scrubs manufacturer released and took down an ad this week due to its controversy and social media backlash. The advertisement featured a female DO in pink scrubs reading a book, “Medical Terminology for Dummies” upside-down. I completely missed this ad until I saw a post by the medical blogger, @RealDoctorMike, criticizing the company: https://youtu.be/aqj7T-wes2c #WomenInMedicine

As a consumer, I realize where I spend my money makes a difference. Who and what I support with my purchases matter to me. I don’t have the opportunity to research all businesses I interact with, but I try to act according to my values when I’m informed.

If you’re considering buying scrubs and want an alternative to the ones offered by the manufacturer who posted the inflammatory ad, consider Sway Scrubs. Sway Scrubs (swayscrubs.com) launched this year and is a female, Black-owned business. I have no affiliation with Sway Scrubs but have been considering purchasing their scrubs to support more minority-owned businesses. Plus, they have cute designs, so I’m eager to try them once I decide to buy more scrubs!

Image from swayscrubs.com

Since graduating from nursing school and looking for jobs, I’ve held off on buying more scrubs if my future place of employment has specific uniform requirements. I own two pairs of Code Happy scrubs outfits because that is what my nursing program offered. I’ve worn and would recommend Code Happy scrubs. I would purchase them again because they fit my short, stout body well, and the price was reasonable. I’m so vertically-challenged that when I order petite-sized pants, I usually have to alter them. I was honestly shocked that I didn’t have to hem the Code Happy petite pants – the drawstring waist and ankles make all the difference!

Below is a pic of me in my Code Happy scrubs during Nurse’s Week this past Spring. The hospital was celebrating healthcare workers as heroes – hence, the Wonder Woman statue in the back. Women in healthcare are heroes – many are pioneers or have had to endure extra criticism just because of their gender. Women in healthcare should be celebrated and respected. We need to encourage diversity in healthcare and recognize the importance of each team member in caring for patients or clients. Titles of DO, MD, RN, LPN, CNA, RT, Housekeeping, etc. should not change how others treat you. Titles may indicate the scope of practice and education, but it shouldn’t dictate how or if others treat you with dignity and respect. Also, an inclusive culture welcomes and encourages all genders into both medicine and nursing. 

Here is a snapshot of me in Code Happy scrubs during an Advanced Med-Surge clinical. I liked how the Code Happy scrubs fit my hard-to-fit body, but I also liked all the storage. As you can see, I took advantage of all the pockets my scrubs offered!

Unfortunately, a favored scrubs manufacturer created an ad that belittled female healthcare workers and DOs. Thankfully, the company has since removed the ad, and hopefully, an educational moment occurred for the company and others. We all have biases, but our actions and lack of awareness may promote others’ disadvantage. We can evaluate how such prejudice affects others through the language and images we use and the businesses we support. Are we empowering others or tearing them down? Are we causing division or uniting others in healthcare? Are we supporting companies that align with our values? As I’ve yet to purchase scrubs beyond nursing school, I would love to hear your recommendations for scrubs or your experience with other scrub manufacturers!

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Update: As soon as I posted this, I noticed @nurselifern pointed out the same company created a similar ad poking fun at male RNs. A male RN in one of their ads was also reading a “…Dummies” book upside down! I’m really shocked this wasn’t uncovered or discussed sooner. We need to support diversity and inclusion in healthcare! I’m amazed that a company that caters to healthcare professionals and relies on their support could spend time, money, and resources to insult and belittle them in their marketing campaigns!